As we enter a new year, we are often filled with a sense of new hope and can find ourselves using this time to make commitments to ourselves and others to change or grow in some areas of our lives.
I want to suggest a foolproof path toward helping you to, not only set up the correct resolutions but how to make them happen.
Do a Deep Dive into Values
The first step toward setting up resolutions for the new year is to do a deep dive into your own values. What is most important to you? What are your non-negotiables?
The link below is a values assessment that can help with this exploration. At the very least, it will feel good to be able to say that these 3-5 values are the most important to me.
Once you have an idea of your values, which by the way can change as we grow, you are well on your way to creating some goals for the new year. Simply spend some time thinking about your values and what emerges out of them as things that you want to make happen in your life in the new year.
For example, one of my values is creativity, I find expressions for this in several ways. This new year, I am following a desire that springs from this value, to learn a new instrument, the Cello.
Establish some Goals based on these Values
Based on your values and what emerges out of them as areas that you want to grow, set up some goals. For example, tapping into my value of creativity has reminded me of my desire to learn the cello. I am setting up a goal in 2023 to be able to play the song Ave Maria, by the holidays of 2023 for my friends and family.
Look at each one of your values and see what goals emerge. Set up what you would like to see in this area of your life for the year ahead. Make it realistic but also make it a stretch, challenge yourself too.
Goals usually relate to something we are excited about, we have passion for, and we want to see happen in our lives. Make sure your goals are yours and you're alone.
Create Habits related to These Goals
Now we have some goals that are connected to what is most important to us, our values. This took some introspection and a willingness to spend some time working out what is most important and how you want to change or grow in these areas.
Now, this next step is what is often missing from our resolutions, a habit plan. How to develop this goal connected to an important value, into a regular habit. Simply take the goal and break it down. What will it take to get to that goal?
Using my example of learning the cello, for this goal to be achieved, I need to do a few things regularly. Take lessons and practice. I am setting up a plan now to start taking lessons biweekly to start and to practice 3 to 4 times a week for at least 1 hour. Since my goal is to learn this new instrument and to be able to play a specific song at a specific time, this feels reasonable. If my goal was to learn a complex piece or try to play in a symphony, I may not get there with these habits. Make sure that habits are adequate to reach the goal, if not adjust the habits, or adjust the goal itself. This will be an ongoing process.
Set up accountability and reflection points for these habits
Once you have set up habits based on a goal that is tied to a value. Set up a system to hold yourself accountable. Don’t overcomplicate it. Maybe just create a tracker, or entering prompts on a calendar, or share with someone else to help hold yourself to the development of the habits.
The first month is the most important time for accountability. Once we start to do something and create a routine around it, it is easier. Remembering that this goal is tied to a value, something important to me can help with accountability. I am motivated because of this; I owe myself to this and I am going to make it happen. Accountability is really to our own self-improvement and well-being.
A few things to remember:
Perfectionism is not a reasonable goal: If you set up goals that are beyond realistic and habits that are not practical, you might be revealing a bit of perfectionism. Let's make sure we are not expecting ourselves to be perfect. This usually results in a letdown because no one is perfect.
Success doesn’t come without failure: Things will get in the way. You will find yourself falling off or away from the habit you're trying to develop. Just tap into the why again. Why are you doing this? The value will help you move past the setback.
Your belief in yourself goes a long way. We sometimes deal with inner critics, and this inner voice rises whenever we set higher expectations for ourselves. This sometimes comes up as imposter syndrome. Who am I to think I can do such and such? We can overcome this by working on a belief in ourselves.
A coach can help with this entire process from exploration to implementation to work through the obstacles to accomplishment. Coaching is a great resource to help us grow in our personal and professional development. We can benefit from having a safe space for inquiry, reflection, and action, held in a container of empathy and belief that you can find fulfillment in whatever area of life you are working to improve and grow.
Lastly, I want to say Happy New Year to all, and I wish you the best in 2023! May this be a year of fulfillment for each of us!
Warm regards,
Tony Gilotte, ICF ACC CHPC
InSpire by Tony Gilotte
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